No Tubes and No baby, But a Small Glimmer of Hope
On August 1, 2016, my dad’s birthday, I was sitting at home doing some work on the computer, and suddenly felt an inclination to go to the store and buy a pregnancy test. This feeling was unexplainable because without assisted reproductive procedures, I was aware that I was unable to get pregnant. Nevertheless, I gave in to the feeling, got up, drove to a nearby store, and purchased a First Response Early Results Test. I arrived back at home, confused about why I purchased this test in the first place, and reluctantly decided to take it. As soon as my urine touched the test applicator, instantly, I saw two lines.
Up to this point I had never seen two lines, so I was in shock. I didn’t know whether to scream, cry, celebrate, or assume that this test was faulty. I did all of the above and then tested again, only to discover that once again the result was positive. What a birthday surprise. I was pregnant! Despite being told that I would not be able to conceive without IVF, I was pregnant. I was pregnant naturally with my rainbow baby. At that moment, I accepted the fact that this was my miracle and I was going to be a mom after all.
Within hours, everyone I could think of knew that Todd and I were having a baby, and I mean everyone. Our prayers were finally being answered. A miracle had occurred! The next day, after the excitement wore down some and I had a chance to think soberly, I realized that I needed to call my OB-GYN and schedule my first ultrasound. It had been well over a year since I saw her, and boy was I thrilled to make my grand entrance pregnant. The appointment was scheduled about eight days later. My husband and I were over the moon excited that we were going to have an opportunity to share another “first time “ together — a first positive pregnancy test and now a chance to hear our first baby’s heartbeat. When the day approached, we arrived to the appointment early, holding hands and smiling from ear to ear. I enjoyed all of the nurses and staff members congratulating us, as we sat in the lobby waiting to be called. My mom was there with us, and I am not sure who was more excited: us or her. Once we got to our room, my OB greeted me with a smile and a warm welcome. She was happy that we came back pregnant.
I undressed, put on the hospital gown, and then the doctor proceeded to perform the ultrasound. She moved the ultrasound speculum to the left and we didn’t see anything. She explained that this was my left ovary. She then moved it over to the right slightly, and we still didn’t see anything. Finally, she moved it over to the right a little more, and there was the sight we were waiting to see. There was a little baby with a strong beating heart. I could not believe my eyes. My heart had never felt such an abundance of love. Smiles covered my mom’s face, my husband’s face, and mine. However, as we glanced at the doctor, her smile had turned into a look of concern.
She proceeded to inform us that we had a healthy- looking baby with a strong heartbeat; however, the pregnancy was growing in the wrong place, my fallopian tubes. Our miracle had been snatched away just like that. I was experiencing an ectopic pregnancy and was scheduled for surgery the very next day. Although this was yet another traumatic experience, somehow it caused me to have more hope than I had before, because now I realized that I could actually get pregnant. After the surgery we had very little savings, neither of my fallopian tubes (they were both removed), no baby, but a small glimmer of hope. As I sat on my living room couch the following day, that inkling of hope drove me to do the thing that always helps me overcome setbacks — devise a plan to get what I want. That’s exactly what I did. I still wanted to be a mom, so I decided that I would not quit until that was my reality. I finally delivered a healthy baby boy 3 years later.
This content was taken from pages 10 & 11 of I Still Want To Be A Mom. To purchase a copy, please visit the Purchase page: https://www.istillwanttobeamom.club/purchase